Monday, July 11, 2005

Scene 3: Walmart

I tend to get more annoyed when customer service people harass me about my height. It's one thing to harass me on your own time, it's a whole other thing to harass me when you're on the clock, when I'm the consumer contributing to your employer and you're not there to cultivate your personal curiosities, but rather, to make my shopping experience more enjoyable. I might start filling out comment cards from now on.. Anyway..

Set scene: At the Walmart checkout counter. I've got two giant jugs of water in my cart. I take one out to scan and leave the other in, figuring she'll see it and scan the one on the counter twice...

Checkout girl: Wow, you're tall!
Me: I know

Checkout girl: How tall are you?
Me: 6'5"

Checkout girl: Where'd you get your height from??
Me: Um.. God?

Checkout girl: Wow, you make me feel short. (Another classic gawker line!)
Me: (silence)

C'mon, what do you say to that that's not rude?? She's begging for a rude retort!

Meanwhile.. she's so enthralled at my height that she doesn't notice the giant jug of water in my cart and doesn't charge me for it. Although I notice and should walk out without saying anything, I turn back and tell her she forgot to scan it... dumbass.

12 Comments:

At 2:01 PM, Blogger Randi said...

you spend entirly too much time at walmart.....

 
At 2:26 PM, Blogger Kat said...

i second that....jeesh claudia this blog is going to be interesting.

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger Cladeedah said...

Hey, this is one day!! Either way, I know.. we never did get to have our Walmart is evil chat, did we?

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger Kat said...

i call it walmartsux

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Cladeedah said...

It's always the lower-brow places like Walmart that result in the most height comments..

Hmm.. now I'm torn.. continue to go to these places for the sake of the blog or let the new blog die by not going there anymore? Hmm...

 
At 11:19 PM, Blogger Jen said...

So Claudia, let me ask you - if I were to inadvertantly point out your (or someone else's) height before I could think better of it and keep my mouth shut, what is a proper way to apologize that won't a) make me look like more of an ass and b)wouldn't make you more pissed?

I think tall folks get a lot of crap from people that other folks don't. I mean, no one points out to me how fat I am, you know?

 
At 6:56 AM, Blogger Randi said...

yea....what about this walmart is evil stuff....i mean, i told shannon and kat my horror story from walmart last night, and i know that they have to be evil, but that still doesnt stop me from just loving them.....

 
At 11:42 AM, Blogger Cladeedah said...

Jen - The only thing I like to hear after "Damn, you're tall" is - "And you're SO beautiful, you MUST BE a model!" Besides that, there's not much else you can say..

Yeah, the times I've made the "How much do you weigh?" argument to people, they've turned it around on me and said, "Geesh, I didn't realize you had such a complex." As if height is good, so it's okay to ask and weight is bad, so it's not okay to ask. I told them I didn't have a complex - it's not like I'm ashamed, I just don't like being harassed about it.

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger Sweet Coalminer said...

Has it ever occurred to you to lie about your height? Say you're 5'11"? Then wouldn't they think they were shrinking?

And if they can call your bluff, say, "oh shit! I must have grown since my physical that was TWO WEEKS AGO!"

Or, my favorite, just ignore them? Pretend you're Swedish and don't speaky de English.

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger Cladeedah said...

I've done the lying thing.. they didn't seem to get it. I don't think they see or hear anything other than "Damn she's tall" in their minds... it makes it difficult to process my lies or jokes.

I haven't tried the Swedish thing, but frankly I'm not a big fan of the idea. A lot of people assume that I can't possibly be this tall and be American, so they always ask me where I'm from. Like I must be Amazonian or a Croation basketball player or something! No thank you to validating stupid assumptions about tall people!

 
At 7:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a tall guy and people ask me how tall I am all the time. No one ever asks if I'm a model. People used to ask "How's the weather up there?" ( and sometimes laugh as if they thought that must be the funniest thing I ever heard.)
I always wanted to spit on them and say, "It's raining." but I never did.

-John

 
At 8:52 PM, Blogger Cladeedah said...

In jr high some kid asked me how the weather was and I spit the ice cube I was sucking on in his eye and told him it was hailing. It hit him right in the eye.. it was perfect. All the kids laughed..

 

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