Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Scene 4: Triple-teamed

Set scene: On our way to San Diego, we stop at the AM/PM in Victorville to get gas. I go inside to get snacks and an obese redneck junior high school dropout who works there approaches...

Obese Redneck: "You're tall!"
Me: (unamused) I know.

I then move toward the checkout counter. Suddenly, the mullet-wearing Indian bull-dyke behind the counter yells out:

Indian Bull Dyke: "Damn you're tall!"
Me: (Pretend to be shocked.. eyes and mouth widen.. mimicking bull dyke's excitment.. I throw a gasp in... Then with pretend excitement say:) I know!

Obese redneck overhears and is stunned by how clever she and her co-worker both are

Obese redneck: Oh my gosh, I just said the same thing!
Indian Bull Dyke: Do you play basketball?
Me: No! (still mimicking bull dyke's excitement)

Guy in front of me in line notices my sarcasm and states the obvious:

Guy: You get asked that a lot, huh?
Me: About every 5 minutes. I even have a blog about it. They're lucky I don't have my camera. I'd take pictures of them for the blog. See what I have to put up with?

(Awkward silence)

There was also a tall thin black girl behind the counter. She breaks the silence..

Tall black girl: People ask me that all the time! I'm like, fool, do I look like I'm playing basketball to you?

I smile.. Awe, we're kindred spirits in a way. And then she does probably the most annoying thing shorter people do to tall people. She starts hopping in place! She wants to see how high she has to jump to be as tall as me! Suddenly our connection is severed... I am so done with this place.


At 9:20 AM, Blogger Kat said...

heh. very nice. i wish you had taken a picture.

At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a female who is 6'2" and get asked the basketball question all the time. I respond to this ignorance with a question of my own "Do you play miniature golf?"
- Great website I thoroughly enjoy your humour!


Post a Comment

<< Home