Friday, January 13, 2006

Scene 204: First Friday

So we're running around at the local monthly arts festival, and we stop by this one guy's gallery, who makes woodcarvings. I walk in and he says:

Woodcarver: Hey, how ya doing? When are you going to bring a picture in so I can do one of you?
Me: (Thinking that's cool, is he talking about charging me for a piece or is he just saying he wants to use me as a model?) Seriously?
Woodcarver: Oh yeah, I've been a big fan of yours for a long time. Go UConn!
Me: (Understanding now that this guy thinks I'm Rebecca Lobo, who used to play basketball for the University of Connecticut before she joined the New York Liberty. I decide to go with it and play the part. Why break the guy's heart? He's obviously a big fan who thinks he's meeting someone he admires.) Oh, thanks..
Woodcarver: So you live out here now?
Me: Yeah.
Woodcarver: Lots of basketball players are moving out here now. {Some male basketball player I never heard of] lives out here now, did you know that?
Me: Oh really? I didn't know that!
Woodcarver: And I heard [some female basketball player I'd never heard of] lives out here now too.
Me: Oh yeah, small world! (Ok, now I'm thinking I have to get out of there before he figures out I know nothing about basketball and basketball players, and that I'm not really who he thinks I am.) Alright, well, we have to go.. it was good to meet you.
Woodcarver: You too. I'm serious now. You bring back that picture and I'll make a piece for you. Anytime!
Me: Ok, thanks! Bye!! (rushing to get out of there asap.)

So now I have to try and figure out how to get a free woodcarving out of this fellow without letting on that I'm not really Rebecca Lobo.. Hmmmm....

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Scene 203: Mini-Mart

I run into this mini-mart to get cash for the drive-through, and this black guy who works there comes up and says:

Black guy: Hey, do you play basketball?
Me: Nope.
Black guy: You don't play for New York?
Me: (Smiling, knowing now that he thinks I'm Rebecca Lobo) Nope.
Black guy: You know who I'm talking about though?
Me: Yeah, people think I'm her all the time.
Black guy: That's funny.

Anyway, this is the real Rebecca..

Scene 202: Fireside Lounge @ The Peppermill

Almost forgot about this other New Year's Eve comment. So it's 3am, and I am dead tired. I am trying to get my group to start heading home, so I stand up to get the group going. These guys at the bar see me, apparently don't see my wedding ring, and one of them basically asks me to come home with him and sleep with him.

In the middle of all of this, a scary, punk-rock gay guy comes barreling at me from out of nowhere and asks:

Scary punk-rock queer: Can I take a picture with you? (Camera in hand, ready to flash)

Now for those who haven't been reading this blog far back enough to remember the Sea World incident, listen carefully.. I HATE BEING ASKED TO POSE FOR PHOTOS BY STRANGERS IN PUBLIC!

Me: (Taking several steps backward and away from him, just in case he tries to snap a quick one w/ out my permission - retreating toward the sleezy guys hitting on me no less) No, actually, you can't.
Scary punk-rock queer: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I thought you liked being tall.
Me: I DO like being tall. What I don't like, is being treated like a freak.
Scary punk-rock queer: Oh no, you're not a freak. I'M a freak. I'm only 5'3"! Look at me, I'm the freak!
Me: (he wasn't getting any arguments out of me)

I think my husband noticed something was up and interrupted at that point. The scary gay kid scampered off when Brian came over. After all was said and done, I kinda wished I had gotten a picture of him for the blog. He really was a sight to be seen as far as tall-harassers go.

Scene 201: Taco Bell

I'm at lunch w/ a co-worker. This little girl and her grandma come over and sit down at the table next to ours. I get up to get a refill or something. As I'm walking back to my table, the little girl sees me, stares and says "Whoa..." Grandma says to the little girl:

Granny: She's tall, isn't she? How tall are you anyhow?
Me: 6'5"
Granny: That's beautiful. Do you play basketball?
Me: No.
Granny: Well, it's beautiful anyway.

Scenes 199+200: Downtown Reno on New Year's Eve

Remember what I said before about Brian and me and crowds? Yeah, well.. So we're standing in the closed-off street in downtown Reno, waiting for the countdown to midnight. These people come up, a guy and a girl.. the guy says:

Man: God damn, you're tall! How tall are you?
Me: 6'5" (as I start walking away)
Chick w/ Him: Girl, you're beautiful, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise!

Awe, that was nice. Happy drunk people are the best.

Closer to midnight, a little redneck girl with a messed-up grill (that's slang for "really bad teeth") comes up behind me, taps me on the shoulder and asks:

Girl w/ the messed-up grill: Hey, how tall are you?
Me: 6'5"
Girl w/ the messed-up grill: Wow, I wish I was tall. I'm short!
Me: Oh, I'm sorry.
Girl w/ the messed-up grill: It's okay. I've just always wanted to be tall.
Me: Oh. Sorry.
Girl w/ the messed-up grill: It's okay,