Thursday, July 28, 2005

Scene 13: Walking back from lunch

Walking toward the courthouse after lunch.. she's walking out as I'm walking in..

Black girl w/ black boots: Hey, how tall are you?
Me: 6'5"
BGWBB: Oh, okay.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Scene 12: Minimart

See what I get for going out in public again? I should just learn..

So, I'm leaving the minimart/post office express after mailing back some unsuitable mail order tall clothes.. I get outside, and a group of young boys is loitering outside. The smallest one says:

Small teen boy: Excuse me ma'am.. Are you on a basketball team?
Me: (Smile) No..
Small teen boy: (Looks angrily at friend, clearly not happy that I was not on a basketball team.)

I'm thinking the fatter kid with him told him I was Rebecca Lobo and the kid got excited and then pissed at his friend after it turned out not to be true. Anyway, this wasn't as bad as when adults lecture me about how I SHOULD HAVE played basketball, and what a waste my life is without it. You'll see.. someone will say something like that one of these days. This blog is only two weeks old, give it time.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Scene 11: Benihana (Las Vegas)

This week hasn't been bad at all in terms of tall comments. Could be because I've been going to friend's houses a lot lately, and not so much out in public.

Friday in court I met a defendant who was 6'9". We bonded over the height thing, so I dismissed the charges against him. Just kidding, I dismissed them for other reasons, but it felt good b/c he was one of my peeps. :-P

Saturday we went to Benihana (two Saturdays in a row!). We spoke to these people at our table the whole time.. got to know all about them. Then, as we're walking out, we see them in the elevator. This lady who'd been sitting next to me all this time apparently had no idea I was so tall. So we get in the elevator and this is how it went (from what I can remember):

Lady: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnggggg! You're tall!
Me: Yep.
Lady: Wow, how tall are you??
Me: 6'5"
Lady: Are you serious?? That's amazing?

Now I'm kinda disappointed, because she was perfectly nice during dinner, and now she's acting like a total idiot. But then she redeemed herself (sorta):

Lady: Wow, that's great, you could have been a model! But you picked a good career anyway. Ha ha ha.

Like I said before, the model remark is pretty much the only saving grace once you've travelled down the "Damn you're tall" road. The only reason I say "sorta" in this case is because she spoke of modelling in the past tense, like I was past my modeling prime.

Me (thinking): Whore.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Scene 10: Court

So I had subpoenaed this one witness to come to court, but the case gets called off. I pull her into the hallway and explain that she's free to leave. Now this girl had been working as a security guard at a local casino. She wasn't big, but she was masculine and scrappy-looking. She also smelled very strongly of men's cologne. I would have thought the smell was sexy, if it wasn't coming from her. Anyway, here's how the conversation went:

Her: Oh my gosh, you're so tall! You make me feel so short!!
Me: Yeah, that happens.

For some reason I don't get many tall comments at work.. probably because most people know they should show decorum in court.. which just goes to show consciousness of guilt. If approaching tall people weren't rude, people wouldn't feel obliged to censor this behavior in court. Even in my scenario, we had stepped out into the hall before she said anything.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Scene 9: Vons

As I'm walking out, little old lady working as a change girl says: Now how did you get so tall and me so little? It's just not fair. You must be over 6 feet tall!
Me: 6'5"
Little old lady: Wow, do you play any sports?
Me: No
Little old lady: Not basketball or volleyball or anything?
Me: (Thinking: OH, you mean basketball?? Well yes, of course! But instead just saying:) Nope.

Scene 8: Benihana

Not sure if this counts since we harassed this girl first. So we see this girl we think we went to college with. My friend Neil goes over and asks if her name is Malayna. The girl looks all disgusted, "Who the heck is Malayna?"

I answer: She's a girl we went to college with in Reno. She's a newcaster now. You look just like her.
Girl: Did you play sports in Reno?
Me: No
Girl: Oh, b/c you're tall I thought maybe you played sports.
Me: No.

Scene 7: Comic Con

Set scene: Comic Book Convention, San Diego, CA. Friday, 7/15/05.

Again, for such a crowded public event, the tall comments were at a minimum. Only tall incidents of note are as follows:

1) Saw a guy who was at least 7'5" running around. I could tell he had been in the vicinity when I heard everyone around me start saying. "Damn, that guy is tall!" I contemplated commiserating with him about the tall thing but instead decided to let him go about his geeky, comic-book-loving day with one less comment about his height. Poor guy must get harassed a million times more than me.

2) Random comic book geek walks by.. says he'll dunk on me anytime. I say whatever and keep moving.

3) Relatively tall guy (about 6'3") walks up and starts asking how tall I am. I say 6'5. He then points out a girl standing off to the side that's 6'3" and says he was just wondering if I was as tall as her. She comes over and starts asking me where I get my clothes. I'm always happy to share ideas/info w/ other tall girls, so like I said before, I don't really count this as harassment. Disclaimer: Other tall people still might! Disclaimer #2: Tall for a girl starts at 5'10", IMO, so if you're any shorter, you don't qualify for the exception!! Don't come up to me at 5'8" and complain about finding pants!! I WILL NOT PITY YOU! Tall for a guy, IMO starts at like 6'3".

Scene 6: Trolley Stop

Well-dressed black dude approaches me at the trolley stop in old San Diego.

Guy: Wow, you must be like 6'3" - how tall are you?

Me: 6'5"

Him: I don't care, I'll still dunk on you!

Me: Probably.

Him: How'd you get so tall?

Me: I grew.

Him: Are you still growing?

Me: No, I'm 27 years old, how could I still be growing? I stopped growing when I was 16.

Him: Oh, I thought you were like 22. You look a lot younger than your age. So you were like 5'10" when you were 16?

Me: (Confused) No.. I was 6'5 when I was 16. That's when I stopped growing.

Him: Oh.. do you have a boyfriend?

Me: Yes (show him ring) I'm engaged.

Him: Oh, does he live here in town?

Me: No, we live in Las Vegas.

That's when my sweet little 10-year-old nephew jumps in and says:

Jesse: She's sick!

Guy: Sick?

Me: (Thinking, oh gosh, now the guy thinks I have AIDS. Well.. maybe it's not so bad)

Jesse: She has Morfan Syndrome. (actually Marfan Syndrome)

Guy: Oh, what's that?

Me: It's a connective tissue disorder. It means I just kept growing.

Guy: Oh.

We then ignore him and he goes away shortly thereafter.

This brings up a good topic though - fetishists. I have nothing against shorter guys per se, I just often get the vibe that some of them are tall woman fetishists. While flattering, that's not really appealing in terms of relationship material. The fetishists I've come across have also tended to be on the crazy side. So yeah, that's why I never really dated shorter guys.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Scene 5: Sea World

Thursday, 7/14/05, Sea World.

Surprisingly for such a public place, the day went by relatively harassment-free... until the end. Three incidents total:

1) In the bathroom, small child points to me and yells out, "She's big!" Mom scolds child and tells him it's not polite to point... that people are all different shapes and sizes. This raises a good point. If your child points at a tall person and yells something out about them, don't just laugh it off. Teach your child it's not polite to harass tall people!! Incidentally, I stuck my tongue out at the kid when his mom wasn't looking.. (real mature, I know).. ha ha.

2) In line at the Atlantis roller coaster. A cute girl who works there, about 5 foot 10, politely walks up and asks how tall I am. I tell her and the accolades begin. "Wow, that's so cool. I love tall people! I love being tall! That's awesome!" I decide that it's not harassment when other tall people bring up the height thing.

3) End of the night... not too many people left in the park. So far, so good with the height comments. And then, probably the worst of the worst harassment yet. A squatty little hispanic lady, about 4'9" walks up to Brian (6'6") and me (6'5") and asks if she can have a picture with us!! I just about turned around and killed her right then and there. Instead, I throw my arms up and shriek "NO!" and then stomp dramatically away.

She's got like 20 other little foreign people with her, who, after my little diva stomp-off stand back to see if Brian's going to crush her with his gargantuan might or what. Sweet, confused, unoffended Brian turns to the lady and asks why she wants a picture. With a heavy accent, the lady says, "Because I so little and you so big!" Brian agrees to take a picture with her. The entire crowd moves slowly and carefully toward Brian. Once comfortable, they all swarm Brian and jump into the shot.

In the meantime, I stop about 20 yards ahead and look back, aghast that Brian has volunteered to be the subject of the spontaneous freak show... and for free no less! Afterwords, I scold him for encouraging the unethical treatment of tall people. Now some unknown tall person will have to suffer in the future b/c Brian failed to teach these people that tall people are not put on this earth for their amusement. What a betrayal..

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Scene 4: Triple-teamed

Set scene: On our way to San Diego, we stop at the AM/PM in Victorville to get gas. I go inside to get snacks and an obese redneck junior high school dropout who works there approaches...

Obese Redneck: "You're tall!"
Me: (unamused) I know.

I then move toward the checkout counter. Suddenly, the mullet-wearing Indian bull-dyke behind the counter yells out:

Indian Bull Dyke: "Damn you're tall!"
Me: (Pretend to be shocked.. eyes and mouth widen.. mimicking bull dyke's excitment.. I throw a gasp in... Then with pretend excitement say:) I know!

Obese redneck overhears and is stunned by how clever she and her co-worker both are

Obese redneck: Oh my gosh, I just said the same thing!
Indian Bull Dyke: Do you play basketball?
Me: No! (still mimicking bull dyke's excitement)

Guy in front of me in line notices my sarcasm and states the obvious:

Guy: You get asked that a lot, huh?
Me: About every 5 minutes. I even have a blog about it. They're lucky I don't have my camera. I'd take pictures of them for the blog. See what I have to put up with?

(Awkward silence)

There was also a tall thin black girl behind the counter. She breaks the silence..

Tall black girl: People ask me that all the time! I'm like, fool, do I look like I'm playing basketball to you?

I smile.. Awe, we're kindred spirits in a way. And then she does probably the most annoying thing shorter people do to tall people. She starts hopping in place! She wants to see how high she has to jump to be as tall as me! Suddenly our connection is severed... I am so done with this place.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Scene 3: Walmart

I tend to get more annoyed when customer service people harass me about my height. It's one thing to harass me on your own time, it's a whole other thing to harass me when you're on the clock, when I'm the consumer contributing to your employer and you're not there to cultivate your personal curiosities, but rather, to make my shopping experience more enjoyable. I might start filling out comment cards from now on.. Anyway..

Set scene: At the Walmart checkout counter. I've got two giant jugs of water in my cart. I take one out to scan and leave the other in, figuring she'll see it and scan the one on the counter twice...

Checkout girl: Wow, you're tall!
Me: I know

Checkout girl: How tall are you?
Me: 6'5"

Checkout girl: Where'd you get your height from??
Me: Um.. God?

Checkout girl: Wow, you make me feel short. (Another classic gawker line!)
Me: (silence)

C'mon, what do you say to that that's not rude?? She's begging for a rude retort!

Meanwhile.. she's so enthralled at my height that she doesn't notice the giant jug of water in my cart and doesn't charge me for it. Although I notice and should walk out without saying anything, I turn back and tell her she forgot to scan it... dumbass.

Scene 2: Walmart

In the pharmacy aisle.. searching for scar cream (no, not for the inner ones.. they don't make a cream for those). I see a sweet-looking pharmacy tech and ask where the Mederma is..

Sweet-looking old lady: Over here.. Oh my gosh, you're tall!
Me (eyes on the scar cream): I know.

Sweet-looking old lady: Wow, how'd you get so tall, your parents must be tall!
Me (eyes still on store display): 5'4" and 6'4"... (now annoyed at the compound question that assumes I'm tall because my parents are.. I foolishly turn to her and try to explain..)

Me: I probably would have been 5'10" like my sister, but I have Marfan Syndrome.. it's a connective tissue disorder.
Sweet-looking old lady: (Quiet, looks stumped.)

Me: Do you know what connective tissue is? It's everything that connects your muscles to your bones and holds your joints together. Mine is really stretchy, so I just kept growing.
Sweet-looking old lady: Oh my gosh, I'm sorry.

Sweet-looking old lady: Do you get asked how tall you are all the time?
Me: Yes, about every 5 minutes.
Sweet-looking old lady: Oh, I'm sorry.. Well, I wasn't asking just how tall you were, I wanted to know WHY you were so tall. (As if she suddenly realized how obnoxious people like her must be, but then felt the need to explain/distinguish herself.)

And then... she did the other thing people often do after they realize they've been rude - she started telling me all about the tall people she knows..

Sweet-looking old lady: My niece is only 13, and she's already as tall as me! (About 5'5", give or take an inch)
Me: (Not really impressed - I was 6'3" at 13). Wow, the kids nowadays sure are getting tall..

End scene.

Scene 1: Walmart

In the shampoo aisle.. me searching for that hair mousse I got last time.. Suddenly, a strange woman yells from 15 feet away:

Crazy yelling stranger: Hey, how tall are you?!
Me (unphased, going about my business, not bothering to even look up from my mousse): 6'5"

Crazy yelling stranger stands there for a few seconds thinking of something else to say.. gets the message that since I didn't even look up at her, I'm not interested in talking about my height... probably realizes that she's a jackass and uncomfortably doesn't respond.. slowly slinks away.

Who needs therapy when you have a blog??

Welcome to my new project. This site is dedicated to all those who wonder "How tall are you?" "Do you play basketball?" "How'd you get so tall?" "Are your parents tall?" "You're kids are going to be tall, huh?" etc etc..

Here's how it's going to go down.. I am going to try and keep track of every comment, whisper, and stupid question I hear about my height. Since I can't tell the difference between people who stare because my hair is gorgeous and those that stare because they think I'm a freak, I'm going to have to leave the stares out. Rest assured though, I get stared at a lot.