Scene 185: Blockbuster video
::sigh:: How would I know if God were trying to give me signs that I should be a tall fetish model? So like I blogged before, random girl last week says I should do these Amazon meet-and-greet parties.. I look online and find all kinds of other tall girl sites, like
this,
this and
this.. Then today..
I'm waiting for my nephews to pick out a video game while perusing the latest issue of Blender, when this Latino gay guy comes over and says:
Latino gay guy: Excuse me, can I ask, how tall are you?
Me: 6'5"
Latino gay guy: Oh my gosh, how tall?
Me: 6'5"
Latino gay guy: Wow, well, I'm having a party at this club and I would love for you to be there. (Hands me flyer) Wow, you would be so great to shoot. I'm a photographer. I was just here picking up a magazine with one of my ads in it. I would love to shoot you. I have a makeup person and a hair person. There'd be no charge, I just think it'd be great to take pictures of you. Have you ever done anything like that before?
Me: No, I've been asked but never have. I have too many flaws to be a model.
Latino gay guy: You probably have less than you think. What do you do?
Me: I'm a lawyer...
We proceeded into really uninteresting chit-chat about local attorneys and who his entertainment lawyers were... But basically yeah, the photography is free if I want it. It would take very little effort to get a site up.. I wouldn't have to get nekked.. just give the "tall admirers" some height comparison pictures every few days...
Brian thinks it's a bad idea. I actually do too. It's just there are so many signs! And possible money to be made! This blog alone has had over 16,000 hits since it went up a few months ago.... course Shannon and Todd check back a lot. ;-)
Scene 184: Urgent Care
This nurse was already on my bad side when she came over and told my nephew to stop rolling around the room on a stool, when he hadn't even moved an inch from my side the entire time we were there. So yeah, I'm walking out of the room a bit later and Bitch-Nurse-The-Kid-Hater says:
Bitch-Nurse-The-Kid-Hater: Wow, you're so tall, you make me feel like a midget!
Me: Yeah, well, you look like a midget.
She actually laughed when I said this. I think she just wasn't expecting me to insult her and maybe she didn't immediately process it.
Scene 183: Court lobby
The moral of this story is that I should know better than to walk through the customer service waiting area to get from my office upstairs to the courtroom downstairs. So anyway..
I'm walking through the lobby area w/ another attorney and our Victim Advocate. I think I hear a couple of people saying something about me being tall, but I can't really hear what's being said, so I choose to ignore it. When we get around the corner, the Victim Advocate says, "Did you hear those people talking about you? They were pointing and saying 'Man, look how tall she is.'" I say I didn't hear them, then turn around and go back around the corner to see if they're still looking. Sure enough, one lady is stretched all the way across the guy next to her, neck straining to see around the corner, just to get another glance at me. They seem surprised that I've returned and am now glaring at them straight-on. I point my finger at them so they know for-sure I am talking to them, then I point it up and slowly move it back and forth, the way a mom gestures "no" at an ornery child. They seem pretty stunned and don't say anything in response.
Scene 182: Work
So this stocky, hideous imp of a clerk (about 5') is walking alongside me..
Hideous imp of a clerk: I know you resent being tall, but I just wanted to know - is it hard to find clothes?
Me: (In shock, horror, disbelief) I don't resent being tall, where'd you come up with that??
Hideous imp of a clerk: Well, I just figured you would.
Me: Why? Being tall is awesome. I don't resent being tall at all. I love being tall. It rocks.
Hideous imp of a clerk: Oh, I just figured you might.. no, I'd love to be tall, then I could look down at everybody.
Me: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
How does this bitch know I'm bitter? Have her and the IT lady been reading my blog again? So... now I feel I have to clarify. I LOVE BEING TALL. I LOVE BEING UNIQUE. I AM PROUD OF WHO I AM, PHYSICALLY AND OTHERWISE. If I'm bitter at anything, it's how stupid people act sometimes. So yes, I'm bitter, but not at God or nature or myself - only at the people who bombard me w/ the same bull%$it comments every single day. Would I give up being tall in exchange for being left alone? Probably not..
Scene 181: Court
Man, these Defendants sure are getting mouthy. While I was trying to find out if this lady wanted to plead her case out, she interrupts me and says, "Woah you're tall, how tall are you?" I didn't even pause - just kept on saying what I was saying and wedged "6'5" in there somewhere.
Scene 180: Movie Theater
These little kids in karate outfits are handing out flyers for karate classes to everyone walking into the theater. I come in and they just freeze. All 3 of them. They stop talking, stop moving, stop handing stuff out... they just stare up at me in awe. I keep walking past them. As soon as my back is to them, they all start cracking up all at once. (I hate obnoxious little kids.) Anyway, I turn back around and just glare at them - this is enough to wipe the smiles off their wretched little faces.
Scene 179: Dildo party
My friend was having this "Slumber Party," which is basically like a Tupperware party except instead of selling plastic bowls they sell lube and dildos.. Anyway, I ran into our friend's ex-wife there and she starts telling me about a group of tall women who host parties where men pay to hang out w/ tall women. She said I should do it - that I could make $200 for a couple of hours of drinking and mingling. Hmmm.. somehow I don't think my new husband would approve. Out of curiosity, I tried looking for the group online..
this may or may not be them. Looks like I may not be taking full advantage of this tall thing!
Scene 178: Court
A defense attorney comes up and asks if I ever played basketball. I say no. He doesn't believe me. He makes me say it again, then demands to know why I never played in high school. I told him I was too angry in high school to be a jock and that I played volleyball for 5 minutes, but it just wasn't my thing.
Scene 177: The bank
Brian is waiting for me in the bank lobby as I make a deposit. A creepy older guy with a cane and a limp goes up to him and says really loudly - loud enough so that I hear from the other side of the bank:
(paraphrasing - I was a bit preoccupied)
Creepy guy: You're tall!
Brian: Yep.
The guy then spots me.
Creepy guy: Woah, she's tall too! Two tall people in one place!
Brian:What an amazing coincidence.
I think the guy got that Brian was being sarcastic.. I think he asks how tall we are next. Brian tells him. After that, I walk out w/ Brian and the creepy guy follows us out:
Creepy guy: Wow, you guys sure are tall! I wish I was tall!
We don't respond.. just kinda walk away quickly.
Scene 176: Marriage Ceremony
Thanks for reminding me
Shannon. I almost forgot to blog about the tall comment our priest made during our marriage ceremony. First, I love this picture cuz it makes the priest look like a hobbit. :-) I don't remember exactly what he said, cuz I was really nervous, but I think he wanted us to stand on the step so that he could stand in front of us for the exchange of the rings. Well, then he realized he'd look even shorter than he actually was, so he said, "No wait, you guys come down here,": or something to that effect. Is that about it Shannon? Like I said, it's pretty fuzzy.. all I know is there was a height disparity joke thrown in there somewhere.
Scenes 75-175: Wedding and Honeymoon
We're finally back from our honeymoon - a 7-day cruise to four Hawaiian islands. We had an awesome time. There were SO MANY tall comments - at least 10 a day. I'm not kidding. Because we had to wait in a lot of lines, there was a lot of standing around in large groups, and therefore a lot of height questions and comments. Also, we went on a lot of small tour groups, so we had to introduce ourselves a lot. With introductions come questions about name, occupation, home state, and, for us, height and basketball. Plus everyone was on vacation so they were all pretty friendly and talkative in the elevators. Here are a couple snippets of situations I can still remember..
At our wedding... we are running around outside of the reception, having pictures taken in our wedding attire. People see us and say: "Look, they just got married! Damn, they're tall!"... Later, at the hotel where we have our honeymoon suite booked, I get dropped off at the valet in my wedding dress. Someone says, "Look, a bride!" then someone else says, "That's one tall bride!" Then people started yelling congratulations and everyone in the valet area started clapping. Aweee...
The next morning at the airport.. Three different security personnel asked us how tall we were and whether we played basketball.
Getting on and off the cruise ship.. We had to swipe our shipcards. There were 3 attendants making sure we did, as we walked past the first attendant, she says, "Woah, how tall are you guys? Do you play baskeball?" The same scenario repeated as we walked past the second and third attendants.. as well as 3 more times when we returned to the ship after a shift change....
Also, port security asked a lot of tall questions too. We usually just answered quickly and zipped on through. One boy stood out though, because he came up to me all formal-like and said, "Excuse me ma'am, can I ask how tall you are?" I said, "Sure, 6'5." He asked about basketball. I said I didn't play and he seemed sincerely disappointed.. I hate letting the kids down, but what can you do, lie?
In line at the breakfast buffet.. A lady comes up and asks me if I've ever played basketball for the University of Connecticut. Strangely enough, I get asked that a lot. That and whether I play for the New York Liberty (WNBA basketball team). I knew immediately she thought I was
Rebecca Lobo. "No, I'm sorry," I say. She says, "Oh you look like someone on that team." I say, "I know, Rebecca Lobo.. I get that a lot."
During our 3.5 mile hike through Hawaiian backcountry with 4 other couples.. A guy couldn't reach the ripe guava on a tree we were hiking past, so he asked for help from "the basketball player," aka, Brian. Brian went over and helped the guy get his guava. The guy then says, "You do play basketball, right?" Brian says no and everyone in the group acts all surprised cuz they just assumed he did. They didn't bother asking me at anytime though. I surmised that it must have been because of my apparent lack of athleticism on the hike. :-)
At a souvenir shop in Lahaina, Maui.. A couple comes up and asks if I play basketball. I say no, and the man says, "Well, you should." Motherfu@*er. Not another lecture on what I should have done with my life.. I say, "No I shouldn't. You've never seen me play."
Getting off the plane back at home.. A drunk loud guy yells out, "Damn you guys are freakin' tall! I wish I was tall!"
Like I said, there were countless other remarks, but I was on vacation, so I wasn't diligent about remembering them.
Scene 74: Victoria's Secret
One of the women working there goes up to my best friend and asks her how tall I am. Interesting, that's a new approach. Allison tells her and the lady starts up about how her husband's tall and how her daughter is expected to be really tall, so that's why she's asking. Then I get closer and she repeats the same information for me. Then she starts talking about her brother-in-law who is so tall that he's always sticking out like a sore thumb in the family photos. She thinks this is very funny and laughs and laughs. We feign a chucke to be polite, but I'm not quite sure what is so funny about it.
Sidenote There have been a lot more comments lately since I've been doing a lot of running around, but I've been too scatterbrained to note them/write them down. Sorry! Tall blog on vacation for a while while I get married!!!
Scene 73: The Galleria Mall
Ah yes, the mall.. always a hotbed for tall comments. These were all good this time. :-)
First: At Claire's..
Girl Behind the Counter: Wow, you're tall. How tall are you?
Me: 6'5"
Girl Behind the Counter: Wow.. is it hard for you to find clothes?
Me: Yes.
Girl Behind the Counter: Where do you get them?
Me: The internet mostly. Wow, that's awesome. I wish I was tall. There was just a tall guy in here the other day. Even taller than you.
Me: Wow, cool.
Second: In Victoria's Secret...
Young teen in store: Excuse me, are you a model?
Me: (smiling) No, but thank you.
Third: In the mall corridor
Tall girl's mom: Excuse me, where did you get your jeans?
Me: On the internet.
Talll girl's mom: What site?
Me: tallgirl.co.uk
Teenage tall girl (about 5'10"): Oh yeah, they're really expensive though.
Me: All tall girl clothes are expensive.
Teenage tall girl: That's the price of being tall, I guess.
