Thursday, September 29, 2005

Scene 52: Police Station

I went over to the police station to pick up some reports. A lady I'd never met before came to the counter to help me.

Freak lady: Wow, you're so tall, how tall are you??
Me: 6'5"
Freak lady: Oh, okay, almost... my brother in law is 6'7"
Me: (Nodding.. thinking, "Don't care.")

(Okay, this is the freak-o part...)
Freak lady: You look pretty... (smiling, looking me up and down).. that's nice.
Me: Uhhhh........(long silence..) thanks.

Scene 47 footnote: Nordstrom

Oh yeah, while I was at Nordstrom trying to find shoes, I saw three other tall GORGEOUS girls, like 6'2", 6'2" and 6"3" probably, also looking in the "size 11 & up" sale section. They were super-young - teens probably, either related to each other or on the same volleyball team. I wanted to say something so bad to them, but I fought the urge and stayed silent. If they wanted to share the tall bond, they obviously saw me and could have initiated. It was tough though.

Scene 51: Courthouse

Bringing a witness into a conference room to talk about a trial we're about to do...

Witness: You're tall!
Me: I know. I'm constantly reminded.

Scenes 47-50: Mall, Salon, Park, etc.

I am SO BEHIND on my tall posts. I'm sorry. There've been tall comments here and there. It's been so long though, I can't remember most of them.. Here's what I can remember from this last weekend:

Friday night I went to the mall to get a blouse. I know there must've been some remarks while I was there (there are ALWAYS remarks at the mall), but I can't recall specifically. While at the mall, we had sushi at Ra, and I think one of the fifteen miniature, size 0, 34DD, hostesses said something like "you make me feel short" or something, but I can't be sure....

Saturday was more time at the mall... Hell-on-earth finding shoes at Nordstrom (13 narrow baby!) followed by pain, suffering and torture looking for pants or a skirt.

While at Express, a little Japanese girl in front of me w/ a head as big as a basketball, about 6-years-old, would not stop staring at me. Her dad had whispered something to her in Japanese, which was obviously about me because she looked me up and down and giggled as he spoke. I tried making faces at her - both smiley and angry - but nothing seemed to phase her. She just kept staring. Finally, she came right out and said it:

Big-headed Japanese girl: You tall!
Me: I know.

After that, I went to get my hair highlighted. I got the standard "wow, you're so tall!" and "how tall are you?" crap there... a couple times from each of the stylists there. Each time I'd get up to go to the hair dryer, my lady seemed to have the epiphany again - "wow, you are so tall!" Yup, yup, yup and yup.

Saturday night was my 10-year high school reunion. Lucky for me, everyone there already knew I was tall from back in the day, so no tall comments to report.

Sunday we had engagement photos taken. Our photographer was heard more than once commenting, "God, you guys are so tall!" Yes, yes, we know..

Friday, September 23, 2005

Scene 46: Boulevard Mall Food Court

First, I would just like to say how nice it was to be in Los Angeles last weekend. Even though I was out and about, I did not receive one, NOT ONE, tall comment. I even went to a concert AND a bar. It was pretty flippin' cool. Same thing happened to me before when I visited NYC and London. I think big-city folk have probably just seen so much, that a tall girl doesn't even phase them. But then I came back to Vegas...

I was at the food court trying to figure out what I wanted to order from the Ichiban, when some guy walks by and goes:

Polite rude-guy: Excuse me ma'am.
Me: (this immediately grabs my attention, since it's in such a polite tone. I turn to face him and say...) Yes?
Polite rude-guy: How tall are you?
Me: (thinking: Damn. You're one of those. I thought this was something else for a sec. SIGH.. Here goes... I cross my arms and turn back to the menu, severing eye contact w/ the guy to let him know I'm not a friendly kitty) 6'5".
Polite rude-guy: Did you ever place basetball.
Me: (still acting stuck up) No.

Scene 45: Southwest Flight 1615 from Reno to Vegas

I'm making my way to my coveted exit-row seat, when a guy w/ a creepy big smile stops me and says:

Random friendly guy: Hey! How tall are you?!
Me: 6'5"
Random friendly guy: Oh! We were trying to figure it out!
Me: Do I get a cut of the money from the betting pool?

I don't think he got my joke cuz his smile went away and he didn't respond. {{shrug}} Whatever.

Scene 44: Reno/Tahoe INTERNATIONAL Airport

I'm in line, patiently waiting to board the plane, hoping I'll be lucky enough to score an emergency exit seat, when these old yuppie ladies with pleated shorts and visors come up behind me. The smallest one says: "Wow, you make me feel short." Her friend, realizing the ridiculousness of her remark, takes it upon herself to point out the obvious to her impish little friend: "You are short." The small one gets pissed. Apparently her friend struck a nerve. All offended-like, the small one whines: "I am NOT!"

Really, she was. BUT, unlike some people, I am too polite to point out the obvious.

Scene 43: Brew Brothers Bar in Reno

Combine me with a bar full of binge-drinkers and you have A LOT of height comments. So yeah, here are the ones I can remember.

1. Outside the bar, as a dumb frat guy is walking past me, he jumps up like he's trying to dunk on me. I turn back and go after him. I push him and tell him he's an idiot. What can I say? The liquor made me slightly bolder too.

2. In the bar, a guy comes up and asks to high five me, saying my height is awesome. I say cool and put my hand up as high as it'll go for him to go high.. Dang.. he's too short to reach. He then proceeds to tell me how tall everyone in his family is. Fascinating.

3. Repeat number two w/ a totally different guy. Maybe he saw the other guy trying to high-five me and wanted to see if he could succeed where others had failed.

4. Tallish guy (about 6'3") sees me walking by and says, "Woah, you're tall!" I say, "You're one to talk!"

5. Drunk tallish girl (about 5'10"), actually the wife of the guy in #4, tells me how cool/beautiful I am for being so tall. I'm super-flattered, since she was pretty damn hot herself.

6. I remember there were some references made to the disparity in height b/t my friend Jeanny, who is 4'11", and me. We just hugged and told everyone that even though our bodies were totally different, our brains were exactly the same, Awe..

That's all I can remember.. I'm sorry. I'm sure there were more. It was pretty much a constant topic of conversation, from what I can recall.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Scene 42: 7-11 in Reno

This weekend I was in Reno for a bachelorette party. A few of us stopped by 7-11 to get some drinks. That's when I got the greatest tall comment EVER.

This Green Day look-alike working there says:

Billie Joe: I'm sure you get this all the time, but I just have to tell you..

Me: (thinking.. Oh shoot, here it comes, what's it going to be - basketball? Volleyball?)

Billie Joe: You would make the perfect Wonder Woman. I know, you hear it all the time.

Me: (laughing at the randomness of the remark) No, actually, I can honestly say I've NEVER heard that.

Billie Joe: REALLY? Oh man, you'd be perfect. You know she's supposed to be really tall, right? She's the reason why I started drawing..

My friend Erica: Who Claudia??

Billie Joe: No, Wonder Woman! She's (meaning me)the reason why I'm going to have a coronary after you guys leave.

My friend Erica: She's the reason why you're going to have a COURT ORDER after we leave??

Billie Joe: No, a CORONARY.

Me: (laughing my ass off) I liked court order better!

Then I snapped his pic and he gave us free coffee and a free Slurpee. I must say, if this tall thing makes me "The Perfect Wonder Woman," and gets me free Slurpees, I am officially in love with it.

Scene 41: Bally's Bathroom

I'm at a seminar at Bally's Hotel Casino. In the bathroom, another seminar attendee comes up and says:

Short old chick: How tall ARE you?
Me: 6'5"
Short old chick: (LAUGHS) Oh my goodness, that's tall! (LAUGH LAUGH)

I'm like, what the fuck is so fucking funny? Didn't say it though. I was on work-time, at the seminar to network. Didn't know who this lady was or how bad she could screw me over later on in life.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Scene 40: Brides by Demetrios

Oops, also forgot to log this one. My future cousin-in-law and I were picking out a flower girl dress. The lady that was helping us, after about 20 minuutes, gets up the nerve to ask:

Shop lady: You're really tall, how tall are you??
Me: 6'5"

That was pretty much it.

Scene 39: David's Bridal Part Two

Oh, I almost forgot about the OTHER lady at David's Bridal who made a tall comment last week. She came up and asked how tall I was, yada yada yada.. six five.. blah blah blah..

Then she came back a few minutes later and said:

Other bridal shop lady: People ask about your height all the time, huh?

Me: Every day, every place I go.

Bridal shop girl: That must get annoying.

Me: Yup.

As they say, you learn something new every day.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Scene 38: David's Bridal

I'm at David's Bridal w/ Brian's niece having her try on flower girl dresses. Big-hair, lots of make-up, bad-teeth, old-lady says:

Big-hair, lots of make-up, bad-teeth, old-lady: You two are so long and willowy. (talking about Brian's niece too, who's also tall and thin for her age).

The lady then grabs my wrist and starts examining it closely.

Me: What are you looking at?
Big-hair, lots of make-up, bad-teeth, old-lady: Your bracelet - and your wrist, it's so delicate! What beautiful wrists you have!
Me: They're really bony, but thanks.

Wow, that's a first.

Scene 37: The movies

I'm standing in line behind this older African-American lady. She turns to me and says:

Old lady: I just have to tell you how great it is to see you. You're like my friend, who's 82-years-old. She's 6'1", and now, all the young people are so tall that it's not as big of a deal, but, you know what she felt like back then. She used to hide her shoes cuz she was embarassed about how big her feet were. I think it's great the way you carry yourself, so tall and proud. And you're pretty too. I think it's great. It's so nice to see you. You go girl. Stand proud...

Me: Thanks.

I didn't really get a chance to say anything, really. The only thing that stopped her talking was the fact that it was my turn at the ticket counter. Even then, she started talking to Brian, repeating essentially the same thing she just told me:

Old lady: I was just telling her how happy it made me to see her. I have a friend who's 6'1", and 82 years old. She's just like how she used to be. But my friend's all hunched over. It's wonderful how she carries herself, isn't it? Tell her! Be tall and proud. It's great....

Brian didn't say anything, but the girl at the ticket counter kinda laughed and said:
Ticket girl: I bet you get that a lot, huh?
Me: Yeah.
Ticket girl: It must get annoying.
Me: Yeah, a lot of the time, but I think she's kinda funny.

So yeah... the lady followed us the whole way into the theater talking some more about my posture and her friend. She was kinda cute though. Probably just b/c she was old and outspoken.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Scene 36: First Friday

The purpose of this memo is to inform all persons that tall people are not deaf. In addition, even if you're standing behind us, we can still hear you. Please be advised.

Friday we went out to First Friday, the local art gallery open-house that happens once a month on the first Friday of every month. As I'm walking in, a not-cute blonde-girl walks past me and, right when she gets a safe two inches behind me says, ever-so-discreetly, "Oh my God, did you see how tall she was??"

Knowing she'd soon have her head cranked back to get another look, I whipped my head backward to say an unexpected hello (or go to hell or whatever). I was all ready with the evil-eye when she looked back at me. She was totally not prepared. As soon as she caught on that I'd heard her and was now "mad-dogging" her, she glanced past me and tried to pass it off like she was just looking around. Mmm-hmmm..