Scene 72: Outside Courtroom 1
It was trial day and I was talking to two witnesses I had subpoenaed to testify. After talking to them about the case, explaining that the defendant was facing jail for this Battery since he was convicted TWICE BEFORE of murder, and about what we were doing that day, I tell them they're free to leave. One of the witnesses turns to me and says, "I just have one question before I go." "Yes?," I say, thinking it's going to be something about the case or the process... "How tall are you?" Me: "Oh my gosh, 6'5", get out of here."
Scene 71: Costco Pharmacy
I'm paying for my prescription when this lady (About 5'10"-5'11") runs out from where the pharmacists hang out:
Pharmacist lady: I HAVE TO ask, how tall are you?
Me: Six five
Pharmacist lady: (All nice and smiley) Wow, you make me feel short. You play ball?
Me: No.
Pharmacist lady: Well cool, I just saw you out here and wanted to say hi. (Smiles) It's not that often a girl makes me feel short. (Smiles) See you later! (Smiles)
Later, as I'm walking out, she smiles big and waves to me from behind the glass. She was *super* sweet, so I wasn't at all offended by her tall comments. She was probably hitting on me. :-)
Scene 70: KFC
I see another super-tall girl waiting in line. She is too busy looking at the menu to notice me. I walk up to her, make eye contact, smile, and just say "hi." She smiles and says, "Hi. How tall are you?" I say "Six five, how tall are you." She says "Six four." I say, "Cool," and then go sit down. Before she left, I went back up to her and gave her the link to this blog. If you're reading, hi again girl at KFC!!
Scene 69: Walmart @ Sunset & Marks
I'm officially never going back to Walmart. It's just not worth it. I got like 3-4 tall comments in one 15-minute span. I don't even remember all of them... I know some kids walked past and said, "Woah, did you see how tall that lady was?" and then another little girl told her mom basically the same thing.. Then, while in the card aisle searching for a card, this nasty rednecky guy hollers out:
Nasty redneck: My Lord, you are the tallest woman I have ever seen!!
Me: (I just nodded.) Mm-hmm.
Nasty redneck: Oh, I'm not saying that's bad. I was just saying.. How tall are you?
Me: 6'5" - which one of these cards do you think is better?
Nasty redneck: Do you play basketball?
Me: No. So which card do you think is better?
Nasty redneck: (Finally realizing I had asked him a question) Oh that one, for sure...
Scene 68: Big O Tires
Guy behind the counter asks how tall I am. I tell him, even though I'm wearing my "Six Five" shirt. (CRAP, FORGOT AGAIN!) He asks if I'm of Mexican descent. I say yes. He asks if I speak Spanish. I say yes. He tells me he knows where my family is from - Chihuahua. I tell him no, Sonora actually. Apparently the tall Mexican basketball players are all from Chihuahua.
Later he hears me on the phone with Brian, my fiance. After we say I love you and hang up, the guy starts asking me if I'm happy w/ my boyfriend. I say yeah, we're getting married in a week and a half. He asks if Brian treats me right. I say yeah. He asks if Brian's white. I say yeah. He asks if I only date white guys. (He was Mexican, fyi.) I told him I usually dated guys who were tall, and most tall guys happen to be white, so yeah. "No Mexicans?," he asks. "If I had found a tall Mexican, I might have dated him, but I never found any. I'm the only one I know of." The conversation lasted about another half hour (the amount of time it took for them to put my new tire on). He asked A LOT of questions in that time, but I won't bore you w/ the details.
Scene 67: Watch store
Tall girl (about 5'11") behind the counter says, "Wow, you're tall! How tall are you?" I tell her and she asks where I get my pants. I give her a couple of web sites and she's nice and thankful.
Scene 66: Hugo's Cellar (Birthday Dinner)
We're standing at the bar and this lady comes up and says:
Lady at bar: Wow, you're tall. I have a sister-in-law about as tall as you, how tall are you?
Me: 6'5"
Lady at bar: She's 6'2", so you're taller. (Notices the uninterested look on my face) Not that that's a bad thing.. or a good thing either way. (Long pause..) She has curly hair like yours too, except hers is blonde.
Me: Wow, cool.
I'm sorry man, I just can't feign interest when I don't really care.
Scene 65: Court
A young high school student was following me around the other day at work as I negotiated some cases. She was really sweet and quiet and shy. Finally, after about 45 minutes of observing me and not saying a word, we get ready to go into another courtroom. As we're about to walk in she finally says: " You're tall." I say "I know" and we go into the next courtroom.
Scene 64: Logan AIrport, Boston, MA
As I was about to go through the metal detector, a tall lady walked up to me and asked where I got my jeans. I told her I forgot, but told her she could look at my label. We yanked and pulled, trying not to flash anyone my underwear. She commented on what a treasure hunt finding the jeans must have been. I told her to search for my blog online, where she could get a list of the places I shop. Hopefully she'll stop in sometime and say hello.
Scene 63: Grandpa's funeral, Barstow, CA
Speaking of inopportune.. I went to my grandpa's funeral at a church last Friday. A couple different old ladies came up and exclaimed about what a tall drink of water I was, and all the usual jazz..
I overheard another old lady talking to my grandma, saying: "That's your granddaughter?? That tall girl there? She's so tall! My goodness, she's tall!"
My grandma said, "But isn't she pretty?"
I turned around, flashed them both a look and said: "'But??' What do you mean 'but?' AND. I'm tall AND pretty, not tall BUT pretty."
The other old lady persisted as if she didn't hear or understand a word I said: "She's so tall!"
And so did my grandma: "But she's pretty!"
I left pretty soon after that..
Scene 62: Funky Murphy's Bar, Worcester, MA
After my friend's open-bar wedding, a group of us drunkely made our way to this Irish Pub. When we got there, I realized that I had taken my ID out of my wallet at the airport and forgotten to put it back. So me, a 27-year-old, couldn't get into the bar. My friends and I pleaded with the bouncer. I showed him both my Nevada AND my California bar cards. I showed him both my undergrad and graduate school ID's, my AAA card, even my Costco card! A girl I was with even offered to show her boobs! But nothing worked. Finally, I resorted to crying. I had had a few drinks, so it wasn't hard to get the tears going.
So... in the middle of me crying, trying to get this bouncer to let me in, this other guy walks up and asks how tall I am. I sniffle.. say "6'5".. hope the bouncer pities me more now... and then go back to crying. In the end, it didn't work. I ended up hanging out at Dunkin' Donuts next door w/ 4 cops, my pregnant friend, and my Asian friend who's allergic to alcohol.
I guess the point of this story is that tall-harassment can come anytime, any place. And that some people care more about finding out how tall a crying girl is, than about finding out why she's crying.
Scene 61: Courtroom 2
After talking to this defendant about his case, I stand up to walk back into court with him. He realizes how tall I am and says:
DUI Defendant: Oh man, you should be dunkin' on someone with height like that. That's some WNBA shit going on right there.
Me: Shut it. (At which time, he promptly did.)
Scene 60: Back to Freed's Bakery
Brian and I went back to the bakery to customize a wedding cake. The lady working there showed us to the back room to see an example of a cake w/ fresh flowers on it. As she's walking next to us, she says:
Cake lady: You guys make me feel short.
Me: Yeah, we get that a lot.
Scene 59: My new dentist's office
Walked into my new dentist's reception area. The polite receptionist goes: "Wow, you're tall." Me: "I know."
Scene 58: The Bank inside Vons
I was trying to make a deposit at the ATM, when I realized my pen was out of ink. I go over to the window to ask the lady behind the counter if she has one. Here's how the conversation went:
Me: Excuse me, do you have a pen I could use?
Bank lady: Wow, you're tall!
Me: (without changing expression) I know. Do you have pen I could use?
Bank lady: (realizing she just thought out loud and that I just wanted to get a pen and go) Oh my gosh, you must get that all the time.
Me: Yeah, I do. Do you have have a pen I could use?
Bank lady: Oh yeah, sorry.. (sheepishly hands me pen).
Scene 57: Freed's Bakery
FINALLY, I got to put my "Six Five" shirt into action. We walked into this bakery to see about wedding cakes, when the lady behind the counter yells out:
Cake Lady: I HAVE TO ask, how tall are you?
Me: (Pointing to my shirt.. moving my finger so she can read along)
Cake Lady: (Busts up laughing). OH MY GOSH, THAT IS SO FUNNY! HAHAHAHA!
I laughed too. It was great.
Scene 56: The Whiskey @ Green Valley Ranch
Bars are the best. This weekend I went to another bachelorette party. We broke into teams and did a treasure hunt at this bar/club in this casino. As soon as we walked into the casino, a short drunk guy threw himself at me and started saying I was his dream girl. Awe... That may not sound like a tall comment on its face, but given the fact that he threw his arms around me and nuzzled his head into my boobs, I think it counts.
Later on in the bar, it was the usual tall comment after tall comment, all mostly positive. I can't really remember most of them.
One does stand out though. Part of our scavenger hunt involved finding a guy named Michael and dancing w/ him. It was ridiculously difficult. Finally, we found him outside. He was happy to dance with us. After we got our group picture, he focused his attention on me, saying, "Hey there Big Vanilla!" I can't remember what all he was saying, but he basically grabbed me, dipped me, turned me around, and smacked me HARD on the butt, the whole time talking about Big Vanilla this and Big Vanilla that. It was crazy.
Scene 55: Costco
If this f*%$er at Costco asks me one more time how tall I am, I am going to go ape-sh%t on him. This same guy, no lie, has asked me the last three times I was in there how tall I am. This time again:
Old Asian guy who works there: How tall are you?
Me: 6'5". I told you that last time I was here.
Old Asian guy who works there: You're tall.
Me: I know, you said the same thing last time.
Old Asian guy who works there: Oh well, you're still tall.
Motherf%$&@r!! YOU'VE REDEEMED ALL OF YOUR TALL-GIRL HARASSMENT VOUCHERS!! NO MORE FOR YOU!! DON'T ASK ME AGAIN YOU SENILE PIECE OF SH$T! That's what I should have said anyway...
Scene 54: Nail Salon
The guy doing my nails, between talking on his cell and doing my nails, tells me I'm tall. I know. I then go over to wash my hands after he's done and then another employee starts:
Pedicure guy: Wow, you're tall, how tall are you?
Me: Yep. 6'5"
Pedicure guy: Wow, do you play basketball?
Me: No.
Pedicure guy: Why not?
Me: Cuz I suck at basketball and I don't like it.
Pedicure guy: You should try it out.
I just walked away. There was a lady there too, but she was mostly listening and then hitting him and rolling her eyes as he talked.
Scene 53: Casablanca Bar
Friday night I met up w/ some old high school classmates at a reunion pre-party. It seemed everyone had a tall comment.. here are a couple..
This guy comes up to me and starts standing up really straight, trying to be taller than me.
Me: Keep trying, I don't think it's going to work.
Cocky athlete: How you doing, do you remember me?
Me: Remind me again what your name is (he did not look even a little bit familiar)
Cocky athlete: Jewel Something-or-other. Only the best athlete Las Vegas High School has ever seen! Man, you're sexy, how tall are you?
Me: 6'5".
Me: Ooh man, that's sexy.
I don't remember where it went from there. I think I told him I was getting married in a month and he didn't want to talk to me anymore.
Then I ran into this really friendly drunk girl who used to be in my P.E. class in 9th grade. She pretty much kept running into me all night saying the same things over and over and over and over. I didn't really say anything back to her, other than thanks, but here's the type of stuff she kept saying:
"You're so tall and so beautiful! You're a supermodel - my beautiful Latina supermodel! My very own Tyra Banks! You're like, special. Everyone else is the same, but you're like, so special. You stand out. You're like a goddess! You are! You're a goddess! A supermodel goddess!"
((blush blush)) Have another drink.. :-)
I also got multiple remarks regarding whether I'd grown since high school. I gave the standard response" "I haven't grown since I was 16 years old. You must have shrunk." That's about it.
